Stress and impatience crescendos when met with more stress or impatience. Two impatient fools in a room don’t make a right. When your friend, spouse, child or boss unleash momentary wrath on you, you can fight back and feed the wrath – or go into monk mode and stay calm. If you enjoy conflict and saying things you don’t mean, go ahead and lift your verbal sword. Otherwise, be the better man or woman. Treat impatience with patience.
Tag Archives: Relationships
Surround Yourself With Dreamers
“Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams.” I love the quote, but it predisposes that you already have dreams outlined. When your dreams are not yet refined, surround yourself with other dreamers. Live and breathe conversation and collaboration with people who embrace lofty ideas, live outside of themselves and strive to change the world. Through these relationships, you can shape an actionable vision and live out your purpose. That’s a huge deal.
Many Gen Y folks (myself included) challenge the value of higher education. One irrefutable benefit to attending a university, however, is the opportunity to meet and foster relationships with other dreamers. College, above all else, is a forum to explore and learn. In few other places can you share in the joy of discovery or higher thinking with others.
Even with your dreams defined, always keep good company with people equipped to make a difference. Dreamers roll with other dreamers.
Scheduling Love
Busy people often struggle to make ends meet with their loved ones. Life gets out of hand. Before you know it, you miss every meal with him or her and spend no time together except asleep at night. If left unchecked, this can tax your relationship to a bitter end.
If your relationship is truly important to you, you must carve out sacred time for it. One of my teachers in Hollywood, Bruce Botnick, upholds a rare feat in the entertainment industry: he and his wife have been happily married for 43 years. Beyond a pact to stay the uncompromising individuals they each fell in love with in the beginning, a large part of their success as a couple comes from sacred time together. To this day, they still go on dates and get to know each other. Bruce’s stories are a charm to hear – and he spouts them like a giddy schoolboy. A man in true love.
Spending time together is one of the keys to keeping a union healthy. Many forget or neglect it, especially couples that have been together forever. As unromantic as it sounds, you must schedule time for love. Make those blocks of time sacred and let no one take them away.
Reputation Counts
It never hurts to have a team of people on standby to support or validate you. Recommendations, trust and loyalty go a very long way. When it comes to leadership, it does matter what other people think. You may never shake hands on a deal with someone you do not know if naysayers stand between you. Good luck even making it in the door. On the other hand, passionate introductions from a handful of reputable people will secure you meetings and may even tie the knot for you. Connections are worth their weight in gold.
Work hard, lend a hand, expect nothing, respect everyone and love what you do. Reputation will follow.
Treat Wounds Immediately
Or else they’ll get infected. And I’m not just talking about flesh and blood. Emotional, economic, relational, publicity, etc. All wounds, if left unattended for too long, get deeper and more complicated. Scar tissue starts to build around the wound and make it permanent. Attending to the injury right away may be the only way to prevent or tame scarring. Give the wound all the attention it needs as soon as you can – or risk living with it forever.
From Within
Love and respect yourself first before the world can love and respect you. No ego; your passion for self is not an admirable discussion topic. Rather, you must find happiness and pride in your life and share it. Without them, you will lack the confidence to make an impression on this world. Without strength inside, you can do little good outside.
Bringing People Together
I left Los Angeles because it was too difficult to get around and randomly run into people. When your world is not colliding with the worlds of others, it’s exceedingly difficult to coordinate, collaborate, and compete. If you want to accomplish a lot in this lifetime, it makes a big difference living in an environment where you can always find someone to share ideas with. If you are not in that environment, then you need to consider leaving or find a way to build that environment where you’re at. Many groups in San Francisco and New York have taken the coffee shop to the next level by organizing co-working spaces where like-minded thinkers gather at their own pace and immerse themselves in the productivity of mutual togetherness. Surround yourself with people. It makes a huge difference – not only for your productivity, but also for your social and spiritual life.
At every opportunity, sound the horn and bring people together. Throw a party, call a conference, organize a lunch – whatever it takes. Host an event, get people in the door, and thrive.
My Birthday Wish
Tomorrow, I turn 24. For my birthday, I have only one favor to ask you: let your loved ones know you appreciate them. Be creative, fancy, or just plain sincere. No matter how you do it, make sure they know they are loved. And know that I love you. Thank you for making my 23rd year on this planet a warm adventure.
Cheers,
Craig
End on a Good Note
Finish the day having completed something. Finish the meal with your favorite bite. Finish the conversation with a hug and a smile. Finish happy and fulfilled.
Life is full of transitions. Each step bleeds into the next. Want to increase the odds of a great next step? End the previous step on a good note and carry that sense of accomplishment forward.
Never end on a bad note. No matter how painful, it’s worth the fight to make things right. It’s worth the energy and time to end things well.
Marry the Man or Marry the Mission
I’ve seen a lot of relationships collapse because partners failed to compete with the work or passion of their significant others. Especially in Hollywood, where living the dream and working 18 hours per day takes priority over all else. There are two different kinds of people – those who live for life and those who live for their dreams. The former tends to put people first; the latter tends to put the mission first, whatever that mission may be. There’s no right or wrong, better or worse. But when you are trying to engage in an intimate relationship with another person, it is very important to identify the type of person you are with. The disconnect comes when one party invests first in the relationship and the other invests first in the mission. You can fight the disconnect all you want to. But when a person’s love is unwavering or his or her mission is unwavering, you may never win. If the mission comes first, you need to fall in genuine love with the mission. Or move on.
Craig Ormiston 