The Most Dangerous People Care The Most

By dangerous, I do not always mean “destructive” – I prefer “disruptive.” MLK disrupted the national perspective on civil rights because he cared a lot about his brothers and sisters. Dangerous can certainly mean destructive, though. Suicide bombers must care a lot about their beliefs if they’re willing to throw their lives away. Destructive or disruptive, caring is the common denominator. No one impacts the future of mankind by accident or through apathy. Your ability to change the world is directly proportional to how much you care – about your mission, beliefs or other people in your life. The more you care, the more dangerous you are. And caring should be your priority. You do not change the world by trying to change the world; you change the world by caring about others and believing in something greater than yourself.

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30 Years

Tomorrow marks my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary. Not many people have had the fortune of being raised by parents who have stayed together that long. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for picking each other wisely and teaching me the value of a strong partnership. Thank you for making my brother and me a reality and putting up with our shenanigans. We all love you dearly and wish you many more years to come!

10 Reasons Why My Mom Is Better Than Your Mom

  1. You can talk to her about anything (except maybe computer semantics).
  2. She cares less about jewelry, makeup or fancy houses and more about good art, people, travel and food.
  3. She never says no, but she will give you a good example of why it might be a bad idea.
  4. She is straightforward and honest (no passive aggressive crap).
  5. She can have loads of fun without turning into a sloppy, embarrassing mess (thank you, Mom, for your alcohol tolerance).
  6. She works her ass off and still finds time to feed her family.
  7. She is creative, handy and inventive (I’ve never met a woman who can reuse wine corks like she can).
  8. She puts up with and endorses nerdiness like few other women can.
  9. She stops at nothing to serve her friends, students, coworkers and family.
  10. She never gives up without a fight and always forgives you.

I love you, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day.

Love

People matter. Not process. Not systems. Not politics. Not technology. Your users or customers matter, not your product. Conversation matters, not social media or tools. Your employees matter, not your organization. Without people, none of these things would exist. Without people, you would be alone. Without people, what’s the point?

Take care of people. If you do, people will take care of you. What goes around really does come around. Don’t expect a return on your compassion – that defeats the point. But love with all your heart. Show everyone an unconstrained level of compassion. Let them know you care. Let them know they are important to you. Put them first. Love your friends, your family, your team. Love, even when you do not feel loved. Love helps your world go ‘round.

Trust In People’s Cores

Lives are unstable and crazy things happen. People can react in unpredictable ways to unpredictable things. Too much dwelling can quickly transform a person into an unrecognizable Mr. Hyde. The last thing you should do when friends or family react unpredictably to an unpredictable event is react unpredictably yourself. Take a moment to breathe, step back from the situation and wait for the dust to settle. A single event alone cannot transform a person completely (though it certainly can catalyze a chain of behavioral change). Trust smart people with strong souls to undulate back onto their original paths. Have faith that spontaneous decisions or wild moves are a temporary lapse in character and not a complete restructure of people’s cores. Do what you can to help them find their way back home, but be careful taking the reins on an unpredictable situation. Human ambition and emotion should not be lured back into a cage – boxing the beast may be more dangerous than letting it run wild and tire itself out.

In crazy situations, stand by with support and love. Have patience and trust that a person will remember who he or she originally set out to be.

Scheduling Love

Busy people often struggle to make ends meet with their loved ones. Life gets out of hand. Before you know it, you miss every meal with him or her and spend no time together except asleep at night. If left unchecked, this can tax your relationship to a bitter end.

If your relationship is truly important to you, you must carve out sacred time for it. One of my teachers in Hollywood, Bruce Botnick, upholds a rare feat in the entertainment industry: he and his wife have been happily married for 43 years. Beyond a pact to stay the uncompromising individuals they each fell in love with in the beginning, a large part of their success as a couple comes from sacred time together. To this day, they still go on dates and get to know each other. Bruce’s stories are a charm to hear – and he spouts them like a giddy schoolboy. A man in true love.

Spending time together is one of the keys to keeping a union healthy. Many forget or neglect it, especially couples that have been together forever. As unromantic as it sounds, you must schedule time for love. Make those blocks of time sacred and let no one take them away.

Make It Memorable

Special moment? Do anything you can to preserve it. Take a picture, scribble a note or steal a memento. Mark the occasion with celebration. Indulge in vice or break your own rules if you have to. Whatever it takes to help you hold onto the moment forever. Do not count on memory; it may fail you later. More likely than not, your recollection of the event will lapse from relevancy. Even the slightest trinket or scribble can help it all come back when you least expect it. Life is made up of poignant moments. It is important to revisit, track and learn from them. Nostalgia helps you recontextualize the things that are most important in life. If you collect anything, collect memories.