People change. Sometimes enough that they mature into completely different people. Strange to be back in my hometown – I’ve noticed that many old friends have an aversion to other people they knew in high school and have not seen since. Why shy away from folks you used to know? Perhaps you both have changed into a more compatible pair. I’ve seen many partnerships form between people who did not respect each other when they were younger. Some started businesses together. Others got married. You never know who you might bump into or connect with on a fresh level. At the very least, it’s worth the introduction. Avoid trading numbers if the reintroduction fails. But do not close your mind on outdated memories and awkward nostalgia. Ignore the past and give second chances where possible. You might build some great new relationships out of the deal.
Who knows you? It’s a lot of work to get out there and meet people. It’s even more work to convince people to remember you. I know extraordinary professionals who are very well-connected without the help of Facebook, LinkedIn, search engine optimization, press or a single personal photo online. They largely don’t exist on the internet at all. These men and women spent years hitting the pavement to scale their network. As a result, they maintain a rich foundation of personability and respect with many people. That level of connection is difficult to beat.
Armed with tools of the internet era, we have the opportunity to make an impression on the world from our couches. While not as intimate or thorough as in-person meetups, you can at least blip on people’s radars. Social media can hold your name in the periphery of others and help you stay current. Blogs and content publishing can entertain, inspire and connect. These channels are fantastic for providing value to others and making impressions on people you’ve never met. Hustling in the streets could not possibly connect me with some of the people I’ve gotten to know through this blog. Content online can reach unforeseen places and open many doors you could not reach in person. Without thorough research and planning, legwork in the field can waste a lot of time and energy. Better to leverage accessible platforms to make introductions and accelerate connections.
All that said, the internet is only a two-dimensional version of networking. Like a movie poster, it can only tease real relationship building. Introductions online should precede introductions in person to close the feedback loop and formalize interpersonal relationships. Only then can relationships have human stakes. With human stakes in tow, relationships hold richer value not easily replicated by applications or hardware.
Networking takes work. With or without the legwork, connections take a lot of time and energy to build and maintain. Make an impression online, follow through with connections, stay in touch with people from your past and spend time building relationships offline. It’s worth it. Trust me.
People do not like too many choices and procrastinate making decisions. Even the most opinionated people I know do not always answer your question in a timely fashion.
The easiest way to get a response? Make your question as easy as possible to answer. Don’t bury it with information, encrypt it in an email or forget the question mark. Provide a concise brief upfront and ask a yes or no question. Make it a multiple choice question if you need to. At the very least, provide the recipient with possible answers so he or she does not need to do the research or draft an elaborate answer of his or her own. Take the opportunity to curtail the list of possible answers to meet your own needs. If the recipient comes up with an answer other than the ones provided, whatever. At least you got an answer.
Busy people (like CEOs and celebrities) are notorious for single-line emails. Help them keep that pace and not bog them down with answering your question. The more you help them and consider their time, the easier it will be to get an answer – and the greater chances you will have at getting an answer you like.
If you’re not meeting new people in new places, you’re not testing yourself or your character. You’re sure as hell not networking. Packed bars, group outings, random parties and networking mixers are all perfect places to practice your elevator pitch about yourself or projects in a fairly consequence-free environment. Without practice, there’s really no way to know if you’re actually connecting with people. These loud and impersonal events are not great for building intimate relationships with other people, but they are great for getting to know yourself. The next time you’re invited to a gathering and have nothing to do, get out of the house and go. Mix it up, try a couple different methods for introducing yourself. Take notes afterwards on what worked and what didn’t. You might learn a thing or two about your pitch, your idea or yourself.
Work hard, lend a hand, expect nothing, respect everyone and love what you do. Reputation will follow.
If you are too afraid to ask, you do not deserve a “yes.”