Category Archives: Life

Leaving A Data Legacy

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I would love to know how my grandparents lived their lives half a century ago. Now that all but one have passed, I’m left with only a few pictures and stories. While there may be a Big Fish fantasy charm to the finite amount of information I have, my curiosity endures.

FoursquareI finally adopted Foursquare in January and checked in nearly a hundred times since. To this day, I struggle to find direct utility in the service (beyond specials, which I have never successfully used). That said, I am a data nut. I appreciate the value of collecting information on my life, whether I do anything with it or not. I’m too lazy to keep a journal, so social and location services help a lot. Despite the fact that my data may be used to serve the gains of others, I (perhaps naively) trust that these services will evolve to capture and interpret the nodes of my life back to me and all who follow.

I am of the camp that sees big data not as a violation of personal privacy, but as a path to building a data legacy. I don’t presume to become wildly famous and expect the world to care what I ate for breakfast yesterday. No, I mean to say that I want to leave slices of history for my children and children’s children to better understand me and the times I live in. Does anybody really care that I had Pad Thai for lunch yesterday? Fuck no. But the next generation might appreciate a rich data set on American dining habits and dietary evolution. My grandchildren might appreciate that Pad Thai is one of my favorite dishes.

Like donating your body to science, I want to donate the computed history of my life to the next generation of sociologists, historians and nostalgics. I want my grandchildren to have access to anything they could possibly want to know about me and learn from my mistakes. We all have an opportunity like never before to contribute to the nuance of our generation’s history books.

So, in spite of all this privacy hooplah, I will continue to check in and contribute to big data through applications and organizations that lend to a long shelf life and value for greater societal context.

The True Definition of Passion

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Weeks in a row of sleepless nights. Stress, conflict, strained relationships. No social life, terrible diet. Racked brain, philosophical despair. All in the name of a project. Pushing for a huge deadline, kicking and screaming. Crossing the finish line at 4am and dropping dead to a deserved full night sleep. The punchline? Waking up and wanting to do it all over again. If that’s not passion, I don’t know what is.

Trust In People’s Cores

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Lives are unstable and crazy things happen. People can react in unpredictable ways to unpredictable things. Too much dwelling can quickly transform a person into an unrecognizable Mr. Hyde. The last thing you should do when friends or family react unpredictably to an unpredictable event is react unpredictably yourself. Take a moment to breathe, step back from the situation and wait for the dust to settle. A single event alone cannot transform a person completely (though it certainly can catalyze a chain of behavioral change). Trust smart people with strong souls to undulate back onto their original paths. Have faith that spontaneous decisions or wild moves are a temporary lapse in character and not a complete restructure of people’s cores. Do what you can to help them find their way back home, but be careful taking the reins on an unpredictable situation. Human ambition and emotion should not be lured back into a cage – boxing the beast may be more dangerous than letting it run wild and tire itself out.

In crazy situations, stand by with support and love. Have patience and trust that a person will remember who he or she originally set out to be.

Treat Impatience With Patience

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Stress and impatience crescendos when met with more stress or impatience. Two impatient fools in a room don’t make a right. When your friend, spouse, child or boss unleash momentary wrath on you, you can fight back and feed the wrath – or go into monk mode and stay calm. If you enjoy conflict and saying things you don’t mean, go ahead and lift your verbal sword. Otherwise, be the better man or woman. Treat impatience with patience.

Surround Yourself With Dreamers

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“Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams.” I love the quote, but it predisposes that you already have dreams outlined. When your dreams are not yet refined, surround yourself with other dreamers. Live and breathe conversation and collaboration with people who embrace lofty ideas, live outside of themselves and strive to change the world. Through these relationships, you can shape an actionable vision and live out your purpose. That’s a huge deal.

Many Gen Y folks (myself included) challenge the value of higher education. One irrefutable benefit to attending a university, however, is the opportunity to meet and foster relationships with other dreamers. College, above all else, is a forum to explore and learn. In few other places can you share in the joy of discovery or higher thinking with others.

Even with your dreams defined, always keep good company with people equipped to make a difference. Dreamers roll with other dreamers.

You Can’t Buy a Dreamer

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Every person may have a price, but the dreamer can never give you 100% unless you enable the dream. He or she may give you all the effort and energy available, but it’s not everything. You cannot squeeze every last drop from a man or woman whose heart lies elsewhere. Dreamers are not satisfied by a paycheck alone; they crave higher purpose. Stifling or shattering the dream only makes things worse.

As a leader, you should investigate your team’s dreams. Interview for and understand them. Dreamers and goal-oriented individuals share eagerly. If you want a culture full of yes-people, hire people without dreams. If you want a culture full of dynamic human beings that can take you to the next level, hire dreamers and foster dreams.

Scheduling Love

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Busy people often struggle to make ends meet with their loved ones. Life gets out of hand. Before you know it, you miss every meal with him or her and spend no time together except asleep at night. If left unchecked, this can tax your relationship to a bitter end.

If your relationship is truly important to you, you must carve out sacred time for it. One of my teachers in Hollywood, Bruce Botnick, upholds a rare feat in the entertainment industry: he and his wife have been happily married for 43 years. Beyond a pact to stay the uncompromising individuals they each fell in love with in the beginning, a large part of their success as a couple comes from sacred time together. To this day, they still go on dates and get to know each other. Bruce’s stories are a charm to hear – and he spouts them like a giddy schoolboy. A man in true love.

Spending time together is one of the keys to keeping a union healthy. Many forget or neglect it, especially couples that have been together forever. As unromantic as it sounds, you must schedule time for love. Make those blocks of time sacred and let no one take them away.

Actions Argue Louder Than Words

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Debate can only get you so far. There can be more direct ways to prove your point. When arguments crop up, set them aside, tentatively concede, or agree to disagree. Then find another actionable way to prove your point. Execute your vision, implement your procedure, test the waters – and return with indisputable support for your position. If you are confident without question, waste no time. If you fail to deliver, you can swallow your pride and know that you tried. If you succeed, you can save face with humility and a greater sense of accomplishment. What you do is more persuasive than what you say.

Endurance

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Life is full of rough patches. They happen often – and never at convenient times. That’s the name of the game. You could let rough patches get you down, set you back, or defeat you. You could shy away and play it safe. You could give up altogether.

Or you will stand up and fight the good fight. Take the punches as they come. Press forward. Move on. Absorb the pain and let it make you stronger. Survive the assault and win. You can outlast pain if you chose to. Outlast heartbreak. Outlast stress. Outlast depression. You can come out on top. And when you do, nothing like it will slow you down ever again.

Time may not heal all wounds; endurance can.

Plan For the Worst, Hope For the Best

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If you identify and find a way to accept the worst possible outcome of your situation, anything better than the worst will feel like a blessing. Do not lower your expectations or demoralize yourself into a constant state of negativity – that’s not the point. It is always important in planning to anticipate possible outcomes. By preparing for the worst, you will be better-equipped to tackle the actual results. If things are not as bad as you planned, then you will be relieved. Life will be good.

You must keep thoughts of failure in check by balancing them with hopes for success. Without hope, we have little room to grow and no path to follow. You must have something to believe in and live for. Otherwise, what’s the point? A true balance between fear and hope should land you in the middle – a realistic place where accomplishments are appreciated and failures become lessons well-learned. That’s a pretty comfortable place to be.