Tag Archives: stress

Flexibility

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Since when has everything gone exactly to plan? Plans break all the time. That’s life. Things happen. When dealing with human or natural variables, it’s simply impossible to chart an infallible plan. A true test of character occurs every time you respond to malfunctions.

While backup plans are never a bad idea, they consume a lot of time and are unrealistic to outline for every operation. I propose a blanket backup plan: be flexible. Accept in advance that things happen beyond your control. Be prepared and practiced enough to make alternate plans quickly. Those who can accept change, keep cool, and think on their feet stand a better chance at getting things done. Furthermore, an open mind radically reduces stress and can open doors to better possibilities outside the original plan.

Embrace flexibility. It may very well be the key to a more fruitful, healthier life.

A Grain of Sand in the Universe

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Without question, nature inspired me this weekend. The world is so much bigger than we are, so much older, so much wiser. To comprehend how instantaneous and fractional our lives are in the grand scope and age of our planet and the universe is very humbling. Problems with traffic, bills, chores, jobs, and other people seem so meaningless while lying under billions of stars at night. Quite an experience.

When struggling with personal woes, step back for a second and remember: you are not alone. You are part of something grand, something much larger than yourself. You play a role not only in humanity, but in the greater scheme of the universe. When small problems seem like a big deal, try to remember that there are stars collapsing and entire worlds ripping apart out there. Count your blessings. And remember this: we have it pretty good.

Love life, live in awe of the universe, and make it count.

Life In Thirds

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With the traditional 40-hour work week, most people’s lives are roughly split into thirds – work, sleep, and personal time. Work provides for your human needs, sleep keeps you healthy, and personal time enriches the soul. Without question, these thirds must stay in balance to keep you sane.

Each third must not infringe on the others to keep you healthy. Work must not take over and instead provide the means to make the most out of your personal time. Neither work nor personal time should threaten the time you spend taking care of yourself. Moreover, work is necessary to sustain your life and activities. Keep the three in equilibrium and life will be good.

No, you do not have to spend an equal amount of time on each to keep the three in balance. If anything, you should maximize personal, soul-enriching time as much as possible (it often takes a lot more than you realize to truly balance out your work). But you can definitely add up the hours in a week to determine whether your work/life balance is out of whack or not.

Keep your time in check. Keep your life in balance. Juggle the three balls well and you may yet find happiness.

Sweat the Big Stuff

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Grade school taught us through graded assignments to sweat the little stuff. As we get older, the sweat never seems to dry away: monthly bills, quarterly reviews, weekly status meetings, to-do lists, deadlines, and more. A constant influx of “urgent tasks” and minutiae attack with little patience. It never ends. Stressed or overwhelmed? Ask yourself: “Will it matter in five years?” Odds are, probably not. Day to day, we preoccupy ourselves with problems that cease to be relevant long-term. Invariably, we solve the issues, or they go away. No big deal. So why hurt ourselves?We need to put daily burdens at bay. We need to raise our children and teach our students to see the big picture. We need to learn to invest in the long-term. We need to learn to live in the higher context of our own lives and appreciate how every beautiful moment adds to the greater whole.

Don’t sweat the little stuff. There are bigger and more important things going on.

Find Your Meditation Space

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Where can you go to clear your mind? Where can you go to let your thoughts flow freely? A forest? On a jog? In the game room? Where can you go to free your mind?

With all the noise day to day, it’s difficult to pause and reflect on your own life. It’s difficult to set your emotions and stress aside. Without a moment to rest, you can lose sight of your values, stumble away from your path, or threaten your health. I understand that rest is difficult to find, but I encourage you to make something work.

The best way to do this, I’ve found, is to assign a space (or time of day, if you can commit) exclusively for resting your mind. The shower is my meditation space – it is disconnected from the rest of the world, physically relaxing, and built into my day. Find a place that works for you. Treat this space as holy. Do NOT defile it with stress or let any other part of your life in. Keep it sacred. Visit it any time you feel unhealthy, lost, or overrun.

The Insolent Stress Multiplier

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Stress is exacerbated by meaningless shit. Forgive my French. But really, we annoy ourselves further when we realize our stress is unfounded in petty problems. Day to day, we face insignificant issues that rile us: spilt milk, car horns, typos, dropped calls, loose change, disorderly management, broken fax machines, failed communication, and missed deadlines.

Few things are life or death; none of these problems are mortal. So why do they matter? Why do we strain our bodies with these issues and preoccupy our minds? Will it really matter in five years?

Learn to laugh at meaningless shit. Turn stress around as soon as you realize it won’t matter long term.

Why Stress If It’s Not Your Fault?

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Perhaps harsh survival advice, but It is not worth hurting yourself over the failure of others. If someone else makes a mistake, why give yourself a heart attack? It is not your fault, so do not pretend like it. And it’s not your responsibility to clean up another person’s mess, whether you know how to or not. So relax; offer a helping hand, and take comfort in the knowledge that you are doing everything that you can to help. Do not stress.

If his or her failure effects you or makes your job harder, it does not resolve the issue to get upset. Anger, frustration, yelling, pouting, and blaming do not smooth things out at all. Stress is almost as unhealthy and contagious as the flu. Your stress will snowball into other people’s stress, which will only come back to hurt you more and make the situation worse. Objectify the problem, take new obstacles at face value, forgive the mistake, and move forward. Do not stress.

If the mistake was made under your leadership, then it is your responsibility. That is one of the risks of leadership, and you need to be prepared to handle the failures of your staff. That said, it is also your responsibility to facilitate recovery from said mistakes. Losing your cool will lose you the upper ground over your problems. Stay focused, think through the situation objectively, realign resources as needed, and act. Decision making is math, not drama. Do not stress.

Relax

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Anxiety and stress work like ripples through the water. If you are stressed, other people will pick up on it. Stress spreads like a disease. Your day can become everyone else’s bad day. Social physics, my friends.

If you do not enjoy other people being stressed out, one piece of advice: calm down. You first. Set an example. Be the monk. Be a rock in the pond.

If you want to be a great leader, learn how to keep your cool.