I’m getting married this summer with an elementary school sweetheart. There was a pregnancy involved.

I’m quitting my job to raise sheep in New Zealand with my brother.

I maintain a few hacker handles online, including one for Anonymous.

On Wednesday, I secured $2.5M in seed funding for a mobile application.

I’m going vegan in April.

I got away with every single one of these scenarios today.

Check the calendar people.